Spare the Rod: What Spanking Teaches Children - Not Just Cute
Amanda Morgan, of Not Just Cute, details some of the real problems with spanking a child, in this archive article. What the article doesn't directly say is that our culture expects that adults should control children, under the assumption that children always can be controlled. (Laughable, yes.) It's about absolute power, and in a way that we don't expect to have power over our friends, our partners, our co-workers. But do we expect our own parents to have power over us, under this supposition? There's a thinker for your next therapy visit. But this power yields to the frustration over lack of control.
Morgan wrote: "When you spank, are you truly trying to guide the child’s behavior, or are you reacting to your own urges and overpowering anger and frustration? Responsibly guiding a child can never be done out of anger. That doesn’t mean we don’t feel angry, but anger can’t be the source of our action. Guidance has to come from love and respect and a desire to shape positive behavior. Not a desire to punish with pain. Some may argue that spanking is not the same as hitting, but a child won’t likely know the difference."
You won't find any counterpoint "pro" spanking articles here, as this site is about supporting relationships, which does not include hitting children. Wanting to hit them? Sure, those feelings might occur to you. But we have to be adult enough to keep ourselves from hurting a child and damaging our relationship with him just because we are feeling flooded with emotion. What else can we do? Well, sharing those ideas and resources are what Mouse and Coffee are all about. Do you know you can search our archives by keyword? There is lots in here to think about.